Then, on the last day I was receiving home delivery of The New York Times (as much as love newspapers, these days it's hard to justify $400+ a year on something that's free online), I read its article on "25 Things" being the latest social media STD. This assured me the fad was well on the wane, and I, if nothing else, am behind the Times.
Since you already know so much about my questionable existence, I thought you'd prefer to learn a little bit more about the people (and animal) who put up with me here at Uncool Manor on Uncool Estates:
1. Tandem jumped out of an airplane shortly before we met. That's right -- "before."
2. Once kayaked 13 miles across Long Island Sound. (I was sidelined with seasickness, panic attacks and a numb foot that day.)
3. Recently skied the Swiss Alps. I, on the other hand, recently drank some Swiss Miss.
4. Pronounces "acoustic" as "a cue stick." Every time.
5. Almost knocked down comedian Jackie Mason on a Manhattan sidewalk a few minutes after we selected her engagement ring. She balked at my idea of having him sign the diamond's certificate of authenticity for luck. I would have had him write: "Atone, shiksa!"
1. Hates chocolate (except sometimes the white kind) yet every summer bugs us to take her back to Hershey, Pa.
2. Drinks only milk and water.
4. Once announced, when we arrived at an outdoor concert, that she had left the house without her pants.
5. Declared on the Thunder Mountain roller coaster at Disney World in December that she had "the need for speed." She rode it 15 times.
1. Believes the best way to look for a lost object is to stand in the middle of the room until the object grows legs and crawls to him.
2. Has arrived at school without shoes. Twice.
4. Knows the strengths, weaknesses and special powers of all the Pokemon. Yet, at age 6, still can't tie his own shoes.
5. Can melt your heart with his cuteness or drive you to Google the location of the nearest orphanage all within the same minute.
1. Has a scar over his right eye from freak deck accident. It involved humping the neighbor's dog.
2. Once at an entire avocado. Pit, too. Hello, $600 vet bill!
3. Was said by one trainer to have doggie ADD.
5. Is officially spoiled because he now gets to sleep with the kids at night.
Oh, all right ... Me (brushes-with-fame edition)
1. Had Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver make fun of me once because I was so nervous, I stuttered when I asked him a question.
See ya, see ya -- hope you had a good, good time.
Randomly vote for me at Humor-Blogs.com and I won't send this meme to you.